I really did have a fantabulous Sunday. A new church service, the VMAs, a new Jersey Shore with friends!!! But today, my emotions got the better of me…
I knew it would be hard and lonely taking a semester off, but I underestimated just how lost I would feel. A lot can happen in a semester and I have this irrational fear of being forgotten about. When I start classes in January I feel like I will be starting all over.
I’ll have to re-kindle old friendships that I’m scared will be forever gone. It gets especially tricky when you have to explain you left school to overcome overeating/ undereating and being able to think about more than food/ weight in class. To someone with no knowledge of eating disorders that translates to “I took a semester off because I thought I was fat and therefore couldn’t handle studying.”
As much as I try to stay positive on the outside and tell myself that it’s all part of God’s plan, sometimes I fail.What if taking a semester off wasnt His plan? I remind myself I’m not always going to understand His will for my life but I have to remain faithful. HIS plans are so much better than MY plans. Even if its painful at times, there’s a treasure at the end.
“There may be pain in the night but joy comes in the morning”
I know these are just passing feelings that will come and go A LOT this semester. Its all part of the journey to being healthy and happy again.
“Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, “So shall your offspring be.” Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead and that Sarah’s womb was also dead. Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.” Romans 4:18-21
Its so important to remain faithful, even when it seems like God has forgotten about us, He will take care of us!!!