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Unfortunately my weight is a big focus in my treatment now. What, when, and how much I eat gets discussed at least once a day by my doctors and parents. Honestly I hate stepping on that scale as much as my parents hate hearing me complain about it.

As big as I feel some days, I’m still pushed to experiment with the foods and amounts I eat. I have to eat foods I haven’t eaten in years and use my tummy to figure out when to stop eating.

All of that goes against every diet rule I’ve ever read. You’re supposed to measure foods, only eat that specific amount, then leave the table. In my mind I should also be avoiding carby, sugary, and high fat foods.

I’m proud of myself for rising to the challenge to try new recipes (to be posted soon) the past 2 weeks, but I was not happy with the scale yesterday 😦 Watching my weight go up is super discouraging for me, so much so I’ve pretty much hidden in my house for 2 days.

The dork inside me decided I needed a good book to help get my mind off my weight.

Unfortunately this greeted me in the bookstore….

Ugh, seriously?? It’s EVERYWHERE!! After 5 years of focusing so much on diet/health/fitness, I’ve figured out just because there’s a book written on it, doesn’t make it healthy.

WATCH OUT  because some of them are written by real life medical doctors!!

I’ve tried every diet craze out there, trust me there is no shortcut to weightloss. I thought starvation was quick fix to my weight loss goal. 4 1/2 years later, I’m almost back where I started. If I just ate healthy years ago, today I would be thin and, most importantly, mentally healthy.

Deep down inside I know that becoming mentally healthy is just as, if not more, important than losing weight.I’ve lost weight many times before, only to have it creep back on because my mind and body are on two different wavelengths.

My eating plan may not result in overnight weight loss, but it will get me well once and for all. I’ve accepted that scale will continue to go up and down as I experiment with foods. I’ve excepted it may take 6 months to get back to a weight I’m comfortable with.

This time when I get there not only will my weight be healthy, but my mind and heart will be as well 🙂

P.S. Just in case you’re wondering I didn’t leave with a diet book!! I left with this….

“I believe the happiest girls are always the prettiest– Audrey Hepburn

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