After dinner with my friend last weekend, we had a movie night with her fam and watched “Flipped”. It’s the story about two kids from the day they meet in kindergarten, until they fall in love in high school. What’s fascinating is how the movie flips back and forth between Bryce’s point of view, and Julie’s (get it, flipped??).

This scene is from the moment Julie and Bryce first meet

First, there’s Bryce’s take on it:

And then Julie’s:

While watching the movie, I realized how easy it is for anyone to misinterpret things. It gets even worse when you develop an eating disorder. It’s no secret that eating disorders can alter how you view yourself. However, some people don’t understand eating disorders also distort how you view others.

By now, I know it’s my eating disorder that tries to deform the image in the mirror.I know some days I’ll look skinner than I really am, and some days I’ll look bigger. I know I can’t rely on the reflection I see in the mirror.

But sometimes the eating disorder still gets me. The situation can seem so much worse than it really is. She hasn’t text me back and its been 4 hours, she must hate me. It’s probably because I’m fat and my hair’s ugly. I bet she’s hanging out with that other girl. That girl’s so much prettier than I am. She drives a nicer car too. I could’ve driven a nice car, but I got sick and ran up medical bills. Ugh…. I might as well go eat a whole box of cereal, I’m already too fat and ugly to have friends.

Yep….all of that self hatred because one girl didn’t text me back. Sadly, I’ve got a million more stories where that came from. Sometimes, I think back and laugh at myselft. At my first job, I never talked to anyone because I thought everyone hated me. In reality, they all thought I was a snob or I hated them because I was so quiet.

It really makes me think about things differently now. I don’t try to read people’s minds anymore, and I’m less scared about what they think of me. I figure, no one can be as mean to me as I am to myself. I am my own worst enemy.

The eating disorder was wrong…again. People don’t care what car I drive, how big my house is, or what I weigh. All that matters is the kind of person I am. Plus, in the end, the only opinion that matters is God’s opinion of me.

“But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.’” 1 Samuel 16:7

P.S. I did my first WIAW today!! Yes, I got to look crazy taking pics of all my food 🙂 I also got back on track after a week hiatus with my exercise yesterday. I restarted the Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred DVD because I got such good results last time. I didn’t know it was possible to be in pain after a 20 minute DVD, but leave it to Jillian to find a way!! I’ll be posting all of that tomorrow!!

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